It was a calm and sunny day in the woods.
If you were there, you would notice that there was almost no sound.
Except for a weird buzzing sound.
Of course, you could not hear it if you just stood in the woods.
You would had to stand inside of the two-story house that sat in the middle of the woods.
And inside of this two-story house was a bed, and inside this bed was a man.
A man who was awoken by this buzzing, and he was not happy.
He had a headache for some reason he could not explain, and it did not help that the room was dark. He was also dehydrated for some reason.
-Fuck, the man said to himself.
He stood up, or rather, he tried to stand up in the darkened room.
He immediately fell over because of the dirty clothes that laid on the floor.
-Fuck, the man said, again, to himself. This time with more intensity.
He tried to stand up, all the while following the buzzing noise in the dark.
He eventually found the origin of this buzzing noise hidden in the pocket of some pants laying on the floor, and it was a smartphone.
The man stared at the phone for a moment, considering finding the windows and throwing the phone out instead of answering. But he did answer, eventually.
-You know I have a headache, right? the man said in an annoyed voice.
-Oh thank god, Joey! You are alive! the phone said back in a voice of relief.
If you could see the face of the man, all you would see would be confusion.
-Joey! You are the first one to answer me!
-Henry, is this you?
-Joey, I am so happy right now that I could…
-Henry, what the fuck are you talking about.
A moment of silence. For both of these people, the time seemed to last forever.
Joey thought that maybe he should get some breakfast and decided to stand up.
He was unfortunately interrupted by the phone.
-Joey, you should totally get here! it buzzed out.
Henry still continued with the whole “standing up” process, and managed to finalise it before answering the phone.
-No, he said in a deadpan voice.
-But Joey, the telephone began.
-We’re the only people alive right now, y’know.
-What are you talking about? Henry asked.
-Come here and I’ll tell ya’ dude.
Silence again. This time shorter.
-Henry, are you high again?
-No no no dude, listen. Get here now. I’ll tell you all while you get here.
Joey thought about it for a moment.
-Do you have anything against headaches? he asked. His head hurt to much to try to remember if he had medicine home.
-Yeah yeah sure sure, whatever. I’ll have anything as long as you are here!
Joey wasn’t entirely sure he could trust Henry, not because he was prone to lying, but because he was clearly high right now.
But Joey had nothing else to do today, and he really needed some medicine right now.
He took some pieces of clothing from the floor, quickly dressed himself and then ran to the car that sat outside of the house. Miraculously, he managed to not fall a single time.
He hurried himself into the car and started it.
It was at this moment he realised the phone had talked the whole time.
-…you should have been there, and then a bunch of dudes dressed in blue knocked down the door, and then everything went downhill…
Joey was now driving. He was still very tired and had a headache that was only worsening with the time.
Joey tried to focus on the road, and on the voice in the phone that kept blabbering about utter nonsense.
This was unfortunately to much for Joeys hurting and tired brain, and it didn’t help when a rabbit suddenly appeared in the middle of the road.
His first reaction was to drive of the road. His second was to stay on the road.
He was unfortunately too late to do the second.
There was a huge bang, and then there was silence. Well, not that much silence because of the phone that kept talking.
This kept on for a few seconds, or rather, about a minute. And then Joey climbed out of the wreck that was at one point his car. The day had barely started for him and he had already enough of it.
-Fuck, he said to himself for the third time of the day.
He picked up the phone and said to it:
-I’m going back to bed.
Then he threw the phone towards the tree, and started to walk home.
The phone hit the tree and landed on the wreck. It kept blabbering anyway, so it didn’t really matter.